1. |
MMK
02:55
|
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You again,
two words, one sigh
when ten numbers,
sometimes 11
appear on the phone
in my hand
( why don’t you understand?
take a hint, man )
Maybe I’m making a big deal
about the way you turned the wheel
I just hate how I loved how you
made me feel
Never forever
they’ll build your kingdom
from aluminum caskets,
picnic baskets
poison apple in every one
Sure, I may cry when you’re dead
but I just hope that I won’t
|
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2. |
DONUT
02:06
|
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Jessie,
I could never love you,
but the way that you toot your horn
suggests something we could do
When the saints come marching
in this room,
you know I can’t be seen
with you
All the water in the sky
could not put out the fire
All the wood and the winds
could not silence the lyre
Jessie,
I can barely breath
you stop my heart
and you won’t stop
punching me
I never said
that I didn’t want it
so I guess that makes it my fault,
don’t it?
All the water in the sky
could not put out the fire
All the wood and the winds
could not silence the lyre
All the water in my eyes
could not put out the fire
All the wood and the winds
could not silence the lyre
silence the lyre
I love you, Jessie
so I’m the liar
|
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3. |
PSH
03:41
|
|||
Called on my shit
thought the night through
nothing’s clear
but I’ve decided what to do
I know I said
I’d never go back
that I’d have to be dead
but look at me now,
whittled down to my feet
puffy and bent
I know I know I know
I know I know I know
I know I know I know
I know, I’m no fool
I know it’s gonna change
I know it’s gonna change
someone’s day
I wish I could know
just what you thought of that book
the dawn will show you
how I look
one with my reflection
flat on the ocean
I’ve been told
we look alike
often
fill me up,
Philip Seymour Hoffman
|
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4. |
BE REAL
03:42
|
|||
I left church
for the last time today
the sermons
always make my eyes bleed
I’d pray
if I could hear the preacher say
“God is dead
and so we will be
one day.”
I recall God fondly
We named the streets
after useless things
It was nice
We bonded on late nights,
but I couldn’t escape the feeling
that I was hated
I never thought to ask
so let’s just call me
“______.”
When God spoke to me,
there was talk of becoming better things
than the rules that our folks wrote
that turned them to sadness and hate
I’d become a chimney
and say “Oh, God, be real with me,
please, don’t be naive,
page by page,
this life is misery.”
They say I was
God’s best friend, chosen, beloved,
which I refuse to believe
because that means
that I could’ve done something…
I bought new clothes
as if I’d never worn black before
that morning
I stuffed myself in an itchy suit
and laid it down
|
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5. |
TALL GIRL
02:58
|
|||
All I wanna be
is disappearing and small
I’ve given far too many viewings
All I wanna be
is disappearing and small
Far too big, and it’s all my fault
All I wanna be
is disappearing and small
spare me not the rod, strap me in the saddle
All I wanna be
is disappearing and small
but one day, maybe, possibly
I could be tall
|
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6. |
WRONG NAME
04:09
|
|||
I didn’t even have genital dysphoria
until Lana let me play lesbian
for two dates and stated
an intention to have sex with me
then she must’ve been struck by the reality
that my body wasn’t a hole in the ground
my feelings weren’t an empty sound
I was a problem with no solution
You didn’t make me feel like a woman
It wasn’t your job to, but that doesn’t mean
you had to jump down my throat
about some dumb little gay joke
interrogating what “dyke” meant to me
because, as you stressed,
it’s an important identity
about women loving women
I tried to find a reason
you thought I didn’t understand that
You loved me like an ignorant therapist
the way you said it’d be more accurate
to call myself “lesbian-adjacent”
It’s complicated
I lost all my friends
I guess it was all surface level
and I was just trying
way too hard to be funny
somebody said
something about gender
that I don’t agree with anymore
I can barely remember
It all feels so stupid now
Someone questioned and insulted me
so I doubled down
said some things I regret
until I was left with
the propagandists
who started this mess
and Good Lord,
they were cruel
and self-congratulatory
How couldn’t I have known this sooner?
fucking STUPID fucking STUPID
the things I said were too bad to turn back on
I only have 3 friends in my hometown
who sometimes slip and call me
the wrong name
I could say I could live with this,
but I can’t
|
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